DEEP WATERS

T'was the day before Christmas, when all through the house... I wish I could say not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse in my home. But... we still have gift-wrapping to do and grocery shopping and cooking and baking. And yet, I had to take a break from my holiday preparations to write the final post in this blog series. As I've connected with friends and family members, it seems I'm not the only one grieving loved ones this season. And I'm certainly not the only one working through hurts and disappointments and major life transitions. So if you, or someone you love, is balancing loss and grief while also celebrating the most precious Gift we've ever received - our Savior, Jesus Christ - this post is for you. In my first two posts, I shared the two ways to help a grieving loved one during the holidays: expressing empathy and the Gift of Presence . Today I want to share another. It's pretty simple, but I've had confirmation over the last f...

When I reflect on my family's recent relocation back to Tennessee, I think of all that moving brings. Change. Excitement. Intrigue.  Moving can be a really cool "reset button"... Giving us the opportunity to begin again, experience a season of renewal, reinvent ourselves even. I've experienced all these joys since we've moved back to Tennessee. Some days I'm overwhelmed with the blessing of moving to a city we love and reconnecting with precious friends we made during our first season in Franklin. An added bonus: we've been blessed to meet new friends and begin jobs with wonderful ministries - New Hope Academy for me and Nashville Rescue Mission for Anthony. But moving has another side... Like almost any other major change it brings a whole other list of things. Stress. Disorientation. Grief. Along with the reset button of relocation comes the reminder of all the wonderful things and people we left behind in Arkansas - and in Northern Virg...

This week I experienced another "first". Of course having just relocated back to Tennessee, I've experienced lots of firsts. My first Thanksgiving back in Franklin. My first day of work at New Hope Academy. But this week I experienced another kind of "first". On Wednesday, December 9th, I had my first birthday without my parents. Earlier this year I shared quite a bit about my parents' illnesses, and a few weeks later, their deaths. It's been a difficult year without them. Their absence has left a hole in my heart. A place that I don't think anything or anyone will fill. It's a space that I think even Jesus will allow to remain empty until I see Him face-to-face. Until I see my parents again too. As Christmas quickly approaches, I've been thinking about what the holiday will be like without my parents. Almost every Christmas we've traveled 18 hours to spend the holiday with our families in Maryland. This year will be so di...

It's so amazing when life comes full circle. And full circle is where I find myself today. Packing up. Relocating. Moving to Franklin, Tennessee... Again. Mid-October I wrote a post sharing about my family's move back to Franklin, a city we lived in for almost a decade.  Since then, so much has happened... God has blessed me with a job as a Communications Director for New Hope Academy, a wonderful private Christian school in Franklin. New Hope is as much a ministry as a school. With over half its student population receiving financial assistance, New Hope serves the lower income community like no other school I know. God has also blessed my husband Anthony with a new position, serving the Nashville Rescue Mission as Director of its recovery ministry. This too will be a deep, life-changing assignment. It's a transition from pastoral ministry, but we're excited to see how the Lord will use Ant's work to turn the hearts of people entangled in the web of su...

If you're like me, you've been watching the 24-hour news stories about yesterday's terrorist attack on Paris, France.  If you're like me, you were mortified over the news. If you're like me, you're asking lots of questions... How can people have such hatred for perfect strangers? Why do such horrible things happen to good people? How do we make sense of the senseless? I honestly don't have answers to these real life questions. And yet, today I purposefully opened my heart to God's voice while praying over this tragedy.  This is what I heard God say in my spirit... Carla, you've spent most of your Christian life pursuing comfort and safety. But I haven't called you, or any of my children, to a life of safety.  Instead of a life of safety, I've called you to a life of meaning and purpose. Hearing these words from the Lord made me think about  The Barbarian Way,  a book written by one of my favorite pr...

I've stayed away from controversial topics here recently. Sometimes when you're working through your own personal drama, you just don't have the mental and emotional energy to focus on anyone else's drama. So I've kept it pretty light and fun for the most part. But this week, I had to write about one particular news story. It just struck a nerve. Most of you have heard about the teen girl assaulted by a police deputy in her Columbia, South Carolina classroom . Most of you have seen footage of the attack. All of us have come to our respective conclusions. I've heard several over the last week. "The Columbia Sheriff was right to fire Deputy Ben Fields. This was police brutality at its worst." "The girl deserved the treatment she got. With her horrible attitude and defiance, she needed a beat-down." "The teacher is at fault here. Teachers should have better classroom management and control over their students." "T...

I'm not much of a television-viewer -- except evening news and "The Voice". I am front-and-center for Pharrell, Blake, Adam and Gwen, whenever possible. Make no mistake about it. But there are a few shows I like to catch every now and then. ABC's "Blackish" is one of those shows. Now some of you are nodding your heads right now, because you love this crazy, quirky show. Others are shaking your head adamantly and have lost all respect for me for wasting a full half-hour on this crazy, quirky show. Wherever you are on the "Blackish" spectrum of love and hate, hear me out for at least the end of this blog. Because last Wednesday's episode spoke volumes about a weekly phenomenon rarely addressed in today's television world. Last Wednesday "Blackish" went to church. Yes, you heard (or read) that right. CHURCH. I won't rehash the entire episode in a day and age when television can be watched on-demand multiple ways...

I guess you can say I've been in a bit of a funk. It's been a rough couple of years. Marital issues. Major challenges with one of my children. Losing my Dad earlier this year, then losing my Mom exactly three weeks later. And so on and so on. But God's grace is truly sufficient, and I am still here. I'm still standing. And I'm believing that He will make me better on the other side of all this. I'm believing that I'll be testifying like Job one day... " But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."   * But I ain't quite there y'all. So... while laying here in this spiritual cocoon , I made a decision to keep my mouth shut until I could share something with at least a drop of hope and joy. I've barely visited my social media sites. And I haven't written very much. I'm still doing my freelance writing, but that's relatively easy. When I'm creating an e-newslett...

There's been quite a buzz over a certain Huffington Post article this week. I first heard about it when a friend shared the article link on my Facebook timeline. (Thanks Mr. Mitchell!) Well, I thought today I'd give my take on this cool project and add to all the buzz. So what's all the fuss about?  I'm so glad you asked... The buzz is over redheads. Specifically, redheads of African descent. Redheads like the two that live in my home... My Brown Gingers - Kalin and Jada So of course I found the article "Photographer Explores the Beautiful Diversity of Redheads of Color" quite fascinating.  The HuffPost article features London-based photographer Michelle Marshall and her project that documents Black and mixed-race redheads.   "I want to stir the perception that most of us have a 'ginger' as a white caucasian individual..." says Marshall. " As we struggle with issues of immigration, discrimination and r...

Kalin, Anthony and Me in front of Kalin's MTSU dorm It's the day after we dropped my first-born Kalin off at college.  I'm a little sad. (My baby boy has grown up and started a new season away from the nest.) I'm a little bewildered. (How is that my baby boy has grown up so quickly?) I'm a little nervous. (He's on a huge campus. Will he make it to all of his classes on time? Will he study hard? Will he eat at least one real meal today?) But mostly I am very grateful.  I'm grateful that I know Kalin was ready to be launched to college. (Oh sure -- he barely cleans his room; stays up way too late watching movies, writing lyrics and dropping beats; and sleeps in as late as humanly possible in the morning...)  Yet I think of my red-headed boy today and see a mature, responsible young man who's had a clear direction in life for many, many years now. I see a young man who studies well, reads ravenously and takes school seriously. I see a yo...

Two weeks ago, I attended CAFO2015, the Christian Alliance for Orphans' annual Summit. This was the third Summit I've attended, and as always, there are highlights I'd like to share. I have to start with the biggest highlight of all... After two years of trying to convince my sister Lori to attend Summit, she finally made it! It was awesome to have her there with me and even more awesome to hear her share on a panel discussing raising foster and adoptive children of a different ethnicity. Lori -- a mom to biological, adoptive and foster children -- did a fabulous job, and I was a proud little sister. I want to be like her when I grow up. Big Sis Lori and Me Another highlight for me was the privilege of leading CAFO's African American Church Initiative . This initiative began with a racially-diverse, energetic group of folks at CAFO2013. It has grown to include over forty people with the same passion -- igniting the African American church with the me...

My Mom with former Baltimore Mayor & State's Attorney Kurt Schmoke  I haven't shared much here recently. While the whirlwind of my life has slowed some, most days I find myself pushing through, working through fatigue and grief. I haven't even spoken about the upheaval in my hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. My hometown that I still love deeply. I've watched lots of footage. I've had several conversations. I have many, many thoughts.  I just haven't felt led to write about it. And yet life goes on... Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I'm finding myself experiencing a mixture of emotions. I'm happy to be a Mom. So blessed to have four beautiful, healthy children. Children that amaze me with their multiple gifts and talents. Children that make me laugh until my side hurts. Children that also drive me crazy - almost literally.  Children that God saw fit to bless me with through the miracle of birth and the wonder of adoption. My...

My Mother, A Born Leader I've experienced that moment already... On Saturday, February 21, family and friends joined together to reflect on and celebrate my Mom's life. After a difficult illness and weeks of hospitalization, my Mom passed away on Tuesday, February 10. I was there the day she passed. I'd watched her grow more and more ill throughout her last weeks here.  And yet, the reality of my mother's passing - and my Dad's - is taking a while to sink in. I've even experienced that moment already... That moment when something happens or something is said or I see something interesting, and I think,  I can't wait to tell Mommy about this. The first time was immediately after her Homegoing Celebration.  We'd laughed. We'd cried. We'd reminisced. And I believe we presented my mother with a service that she would have felt honored to witness. I think she would have been quite pleased. I think she also would have been am...

When I wrote my last post a week ago, I had no idea I was about to lose my father. He appeared to be getting better, had begun pulling out from his post operative delirium and had begun talking again. He'd even begun telling others that he wanted my mother moved to his hospital room "to talk business." Well, my Daddy's business now is spending time with Jesus and all the loved ones that beat him to heaven... I wanted to write this post to share just a bit about my Dad and what he meant to me. A dear friend said it so well in a text to me today... "He was a smart, loving, funny, warm and generous man. Oh and good looking!"  Anyone who knew him would have used the same words to describe him. Even the hospital staff adored him. They called him "Mr. Carl", and in a Baltimore accent, it sounded more like "Mr. Cawl." We all loved him. But God loved him more. So He decided to take him Home. I'm so grateful for the 45 years ...

As I approach the last entry in this series , I'm amazed at what God has done. The first time I sat down to begin this series, I thought, how in the world am I going to come up with at least five meaningful, practical things to share about the time I spent with my parents in the hospital? I wasn't short on memories, funny moments, frightening moments and random musings. But what had I learned that I could pass on to others? What could I share that could speak to the issues and circumstances that you are dealing with? Those questions weren't answered until I began writing. It was like God opened my eyes and heart to the things my parents wanted to tell me, but couldn't. If my mother hadn't had that respirator placed in her mouth. If my father hadn't struggled with the post-operative delirium that confounded his mind. They would have shared so much. But it was up to me to pay attention. Take notice. Watch their every move. Listen to what they said...