DEEP WATERS

I was sitting in my minivan, having just picked up my son Christian from his football team workout, when I heard the news. The car in park, I noticed I had 4 texts. I assumed they were texts from a ministry I've recently joined. We've got a lot going on this month, and when a leader sends out a text, we typically start firing our responses back at her. I checked my phone. It was from a member of this ministry, but it read differently from previous texts... "Fyi - you may already know, I just got word that Dr Karyn Purvis passed away." I was shocked. I kinda had a moment... To the point where I had to tell the kiddos not to worry. I'd be okay. I'd just read some bad news, but everyone in our family was okay. (After losing my parents so close together, I've had to give my kiddos this kind of information when anything unusual comes up.) To say I was sad to hear Dr. Purvis had succumbed to her battle with cancer is a gross understatement. In t...

My Parents in their Twilight Years -- Still Sharp and Beautiful Last year Easter was very challenging for me.  When Easter arrived last year, I was reeling from the loss of my parents just months before. I was deep in the "acute grief" that a counselor had taught me about, given me vocabulary for and helped to walk me through. Honestly, I don't even remember anything that happened on Easter day last year. I think I was pretty numb to the celebration of Jesus' death and resurrection. In my head I knew that He'd given me - and the whole world - the most awesome gift ever when He died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead.  But last year, I wasn't exactly feeling it. This year has been different. As I've approached Resurrection Sunday, I have been very contemplative. I've thought a lot about the depth of Jesus' sacrifice. I've been reading the Passion story -- the story of Jesus' death, burial and resurrectio...

When I first began writing regular posts about my parents , it was easy to find the time and energy to write. I would sit down at my laptop, and before I knew it I'd pecked out some sincere and, I hope, honoring thoughts about each of them. But that was back when my parents were still with us. But TODAY I feel like I have to write... Today is the anniversary of the day my mother passed away. I can hardly believe it's been a whole year. Then on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime ago that my sisters and I walked up and down the halls of my parents' hospitals. It feels like a lifetime ago that I spent weeks at a time in Maryland, sitting beside my parents' hospital beds, talking with nurses and doctors about my parents' prognoses. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was hopeful that my mother might actually recover, especially when her health miraculously improved. It seems like a lifetime ago that I prayed she'd someday return home. Little did ...

I've been putting off writing this post for days now. I've wanted to share so much, but I just couldn't make myself sit down and start writing. Well here goes y'all... I'll start with a little backstory. Many of you know I lost my parents in early 2015, exactly 3 weeks apart from one another. I've shared this story and several stories  highlighting all that the Lord showed me through my parents during those last weeks with them. This past Wednesday, January 20th, was the anniversary of my father's death . I didn't know what to expect or how I'd feel. For the most part, it was a regular day. But as I look back, this week I've felt an undercurrent of sadness. Just below the surface. I'm still grieving for sure. Think I will be for a while now. And for some reason, I'm okay with that. I don't feel like I have to be strong or brave. And I think God's okay with it too. The Word tells us Christians that we shouldn't gri...

T'was the day before Christmas, when all through the house... I wish I could say not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse in my home. But... we still have gift-wrapping to do and grocery shopping and cooking and baking. And yet, I had to take a break from my holiday preparations to write the final post in this blog series. As I've connected with friends and family members, it seems I'm not the only one grieving loved ones this season. And I'm certainly not the only one working through hurts and disappointments and major life transitions. So if you, or someone you love, is balancing loss and grief while also celebrating the most precious Gift we've ever received - our Savior, Jesus Christ - this post is for you. In my first two posts, I shared the two ways to help a grieving loved one during the holidays: expressing empathy and the Gift of Presence . Today I want to share another. It's pretty simple, but I've had confirmation over the last f...

When I reflect on my family's recent relocation back to Tennessee, I think of all that moving brings. Change. Excitement. Intrigue.  Moving can be a really cool "reset button"... Giving us the opportunity to begin again, experience a season of renewal, reinvent ourselves even. I've experienced all these joys since we've moved back to Tennessee. Some days I'm overwhelmed with the blessing of moving to a city we love and reconnecting with precious friends we made during our first season in Franklin. An added bonus: we've been blessed to meet new friends and begin jobs with wonderful ministries - New Hope Academy for me and Nashville Rescue Mission for Anthony. But moving has another side... Like almost any other major change it brings a whole other list of things. Stress. Disorientation. Grief. Along with the reset button of relocation comes the reminder of all the wonderful things and people we left behind in Arkansas - and in Northern Virg...

This week I experienced another "first". Of course having just relocated back to Tennessee, I've experienced lots of firsts. My first Thanksgiving back in Franklin. My first day of work at New Hope Academy. But this week I experienced another kind of "first". On Wednesday, December 9th, I had my first birthday without my parents. Earlier this year I shared quite a bit about my parents' illnesses, and a few weeks later, their deaths. It's been a difficult year without them. Their absence has left a hole in my heart. A place that I don't think anything or anyone will fill. It's a space that I think even Jesus will allow to remain empty until I see Him face-to-face. Until I see my parents again too. As Christmas quickly approaches, I've been thinking about what the holiday will be like without my parents. Almost every Christmas we've traveled 18 hours to spend the holiday with our families in Maryland. This year will be so di...