This Christmas: Sharing a Little HOPE for the Holidays

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But...

This holiday season, it seems I just keep hearing about one sad situation after another. Here's a sampling of a few:

• A teen girl struggling with life-altering anxiety and depression
• A young mom of two beginning chemotherapy after undergoing a double mastectomy
• A mom of two adopted kids out of work and facing the threat of homelessness

And the very worst of all... The mama whose mental illness and hopelessness led her to take her own life - just weeks before Christmas.

The holidays can be a wonderful time filled with faith, family and fun. 

The holidays can also be a difficult time, a time when problems magnify, at least in our own minds. 

What makes matters worst is that it's also a time we assume we should be happy and joyful. After all, Christmas is a time that we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. We sing...

Joy to the World, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King!

We sing beautiful songs that remind us that the joy of this season doesn't come from wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree. Or from Santa Claus. Or even from the family and friends that we love dearly. Joy comes from Jesus and experiencing His love for us.

But when that joy is missing, especially at Christmastime, that fact can cause guilt and shame. It can sap the last bit of happiness and joy that we may have inside.

So... if you find yourself struggling with joy during this holiday season - or you know someone who is - please read on for some things I've learned while struggling during the Christmas season. Maybe I can extend just a little "Hope for the Holidays".

1. You are NOT alone.

Loneliness is universal. Everyone feels lonely at times, even when surrounded by people and a bunch of noise. The thing to remember when you're feeling lonely is you are not alone in your loneliness. 

Another thing to remember is that this is a day and age when we must fight for connection. I recently had lunch with a good friend, and at the end of our time she said to me, "Let's commit to do this more often. It doesn't make any sense for both of us to be lonely in the same city." 

Can the church say AMEN?!

In the new year, commit to make more time to connect. Have coffee with that lady with which you enjoy those snatched 5 minute conversations after church. Go with a coworker to lunch. Walk around your 'hood and meet a few neighbors you've seen but never actually spoken to.

Community is vital to our souls, but it is also very challenging. And don't allow the illusion of social media to replace time actually connecting with others. Social media is great, but it is not a replacement for looking beyond a steaming cup of coffee or tea into the eyes of a good friend, or sharing a meal with a family member or talking with neighbors on a beautiful, crisp day.

Make it a priority. I am.

2. Expect to feel your losses in a deeper way during the holidays.

This Christmas will be the second I'll experience without my parents. When December rolled in, I found that I was feeling extra bluesy. After days of wondering "What is wrong with me?", a lightbulb flickered on and I remembered that I'm still grieving my folks. The reality is this: Christmas will never be the same without them.

We all have experienced loss, disappointment and trauma in our lives. That is a fact and a guarantee from the day we are born. But there's something about the holidays that seems to amp up any losses we've already experienced, be it illness, marital and family difficulties or loss of a loved one. If we enter the season with challenges already looming around us - or even within us - those challenges will probably increase in intensity during the holidays.

For me, just recognizing this truth makes me feel a little less crazy and a little more normal. It helps me cope with any blues I might experience. 

And it helps propel me to the third thing I wanted to share...

3. Be willing to get help when needed.

There comes a time in our lives when we just get "stuck", as I call it. When we fall into an emotional rut, and just can't seem to climb, kick or fight our way out of it. 

At that point, we have to move beyond pride, self-righteousness and religious cliques and find the help with need. For some of us, help might be sharing with a trusted friend/family member, a bible study group or a pastor. For some that help might come from spending intense, extended time with the Lord, in His word and in prayer. 

And for some, after trying all that, we must reach out to a professional resource. Counseling can be a lifesaver - literally. Talking with a skilled, compassionate, trained counselor can really propel us towards self-awareness and healing. I can't recommend this enough for anyone stuck in an emotional rut. Sometimes we just need someone to help lift us up out of that rut. 

God is the true Healer, but just like a trained physician's hands, He can use the healing touch of an amazing counselor too. 

I promise you. I'm a witness.

My wish this Christmas is that we all find HOPE during this and every holiday season.