DEEP WATERS

My Parents in their Twilight Years -- Still Sharp and Beautiful Last year Easter was very challenging for me.  When Easter arrived last year, I was reeling from the loss of my parents just months before. I was deep in the "acute grief" that a counselor had taught me about, given me vocabulary for and helped to walk me through. Honestly, I don't even remember anything that happened on Easter day last year. I think I was pretty numb to the celebration of Jesus' death and resurrection. In my head I knew that He'd given me - and the whole world - the most awesome gift ever when He died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead.  But last year, I wasn't exactly feeling it. This year has been different. As I've approached Resurrection Sunday, I have been very contemplative. I've thought a lot about the depth of Jesus' sacrifice. I've been reading the Passion story -- the story of Jesus' death, burial and resurrectio...

When I first began writing regular posts about my parents , it was easy to find the time and energy to write. I would sit down at my laptop, and before I knew it I'd pecked out some sincere and, I hope, honoring thoughts about each of them. But that was back when my parents were still with us. But TODAY I feel like I have to write... Today is the anniversary of the day my mother passed away. I can hardly believe it's been a whole year. Then on the other hand, it feels like a lifetime ago that my sisters and I walked up and down the halls of my parents' hospitals. It feels like a lifetime ago that I spent weeks at a time in Maryland, sitting beside my parents' hospital beds, talking with nurses and doctors about my parents' prognoses. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was hopeful that my mother might actually recover, especially when her health miraculously improved. It seems like a lifetime ago that I prayed she'd someday return home. Little did ...

My Mother, A Born Leader I've experienced that moment already... On Saturday, February 21, family and friends joined together to reflect on and celebrate my Mom's life. After a difficult illness and weeks of hospitalization, my Mom passed away on Tuesday, February 10. I was there the day she passed. I'd watched her grow more and more ill throughout her last weeks here.  And yet, the reality of my mother's passing - and my Dad's - is taking a while to sink in. I've even experienced that moment already... That moment when something happens or something is said or I see something interesting, and I think,  I can't wait to tell Mommy about this. The first time was immediately after her Homegoing Celebration.  We'd laughed. We'd cried. We'd reminisced. And I believe we presented my mother with a service that she would have felt honored to witness. I think she would have been quite pleased. I think she also would have been am...

My Beautiful Parents: Lovely and Refined as Always After spending over a month watching my parents' health quickly decline, I have spent many hours sitting by their bedside, talking with my Mom and Dad and visiting with the many family members and friends that have visited them.  One more thing I did a lot of -- think.  And talk with the Lord. Now that I'm back in Arkansas with my husband and kids, I find myself still thinking quite a bit. And feeling a lot.  So this blog series is the baby birthed out of all that thinking. And praying. And feeling.  There's so much I could share... About the way my father's hand felt as I held it after his second surgery. How it felt to tuck my mother in at night before I left the hospital, placing her sheets and blankets snuggly around her shoulders. How it felt nurturing and loving, and made me wonder when exactly I had reversed roles with the woman who had tucked me in bed every night as a child. How I watched...

So... in case your joining me for the first time or the first time in a while, let me fill you in on what you've missed. Monday I began a series  birthed out of the four weeks I spent beside my parents' hospital beds. My parents are both very strong, and are hanging in there for sure, yet they still have long roads to recovery ahead of them. It has been a challenging month. It has been an amazing month. It's been a month where the reality of my parents' age and season of life has become a reality for me. When you have parents that look a decade younger than they are, come and go as they please, drive themselves wherever they have to go and remain active in organizations, sororities/fraternities, church ministry - even church leadership, you kind of forget that they are elderly. Until they become ill. But that's the challenging part. The amazing part has been all the God-moments I've experienced. Time with family and friends I wouldn't have...